I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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