hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize