Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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