we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
