apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
