I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize