Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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