he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
