THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
