I cannot find my penis.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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