My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
