wat bout pragnant strippers??
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
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like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
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Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me