I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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