is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
