hell yes lets make some ravioli
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.