I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
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by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
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It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.