You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
