Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
