SEEEEXXX PLEASE
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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