Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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