He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
