Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
love makes seman taste better
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm always down for nudity.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
