Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
My balls are so social today.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
