I can't watch pbs sober anymore
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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