Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
