about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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