Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
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Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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