And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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