I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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