we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
