so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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