In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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