Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Randomize
