i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
