well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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