no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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