So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
