paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
