no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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