Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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