Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
