hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
