So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
where are my eyebrows?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
