his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
