Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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