In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
