remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
