So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
