I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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