found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
