I'm eating all of the evidence.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
