hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
