No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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