So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
