so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
