Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
