Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
