Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
