Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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