have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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