i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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