He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
