Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
