she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
