I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
