I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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