it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
