totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Randomize
