I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
