I wannas sexs uuuuu
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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