I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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