WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
