you're like a bully in the Christmas story
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
